Delusion Disillusion Live at the Jalopy

by Erica Buettner

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Delusion Disillusion will be on Erica's forthcoming album, The Book of Waves

The show at the Jalopy was a benefit concert with Chaming Disaster and Jeffrey Lewis to raise funds for Erica in her battle against breast cancer. Contribute here:


Delusion Disillusion

There’s a verb tense for what might have been
But it tortures me to use it
And like every drug or weapon
It’s so easy to abuse it

Delusion, disillusionment
Two sides of the same coin
Delusion, disillusionment
Which side are you on?

My doctor wants to medicate
My chemical imbalances
I say but that’s exactly where
My muse has built her palaces
I am afraid to lose my mind
Unless it’s in the Buddhist sense
Insanity is frowned upon
It’s best to call it transcendence

Genetics, environment, and free will
Walk into a bar
The cocktail that they offer you
Can make you forget who you are
Your choices stack like building blocks
The wooden tower starts to wobble
Removing one sends aftershocks
That might make the whole tower topple

Unless you’re psychic, you’re like me
Intentions don’t match their effect
Decisions made with blindfolds on
Are not exactly circumspect
The burden of your body totes
The burden of your intellect
And the events that change you most
Are all the ones you didn’t expect

Delusion, disillusionment
two sides of the same coin
Delusion, disillusionment,
which side are you on?

Some people have been born again
Delivered by a divine hand
But if there’s original sin
Does that mean they are twice as damned?
Myself I’ve only been born once
At least as far as I can tell
Unless you count that time in Amsterdam
That didn’t go so well

As for what happens when we die
it's just as well that we don't know
I guess some bug-eyed, wacko group
Will get to say "I told you so"
If someone turns out to be right
when we get to the great beyond
I hope they can ward off my spite
by waving a big magic wand

This isn’t all the kind of stuff
I’d talk about on a first date
It’s just that in the here and now
We have enough that’s on our plate
The human wars and holy wars
Abruptly ending calendars
The shift and lift of consciousness
The ignorance that leads to bliss
The endless stream of chattering
That doesn’t end up mattering
While caring for the ones we love
in currencies all soaked in blood
The world’s become a marketplace
But it is one I have to face
I’ve learned to meet it quietly
The way the river meets the sea
Between them there’s no deference
Submission to authority
There’s just the way it has to go
Seamless acceptance of the flow
But there’s always a part of me
That coddles curiosity
Regarding what will come to be
Of course I’ll always want to know
Delusion, disillusionment
Two sides of the same coin
Delusion, disillusionment
Which side am I on?


released March 12, 2017



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Erica Buettner New York, New York

Erica Buettner is a singer-songwriter from New England who moved to Europe at the age of 19 and spent the next twelve years as a troubadour winding her way through Paris all the way to the shores of Portugal before making her way back to America in 2016. Her second album The Book Of Waves is slated for release in June 2017.

Erica is currently battling triple negative breast cancer. Youcaring:
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